


we're about to explode (i'll carry your world)

by katebishoop



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Fights, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sheith, Keith & Allura friendship, Post-Season/Series 01, Red Paladin Allura (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 04:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8235559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katebishoop/pseuds/katebishoop
Summary: “Keith… if I don’t make it out of here… I want you to lead Voltron.”
 Keith had never felt not right in Shiro’s clothes before. His Garrison cadet uniform - “you’ll grow into it” - his favorite hoodie - “no - it’s okay. It looks good on you” - or even Shiro’s pajamas - three months, six months, eight months. Shiro’s pajamas still smelled like him, wrapped Keith in his arms even from millions of miles away. But then with the words “pilot error” the smell faded away along with all the happiness in keith’s body. He still wore them though, those shreds of hope.---Late nights wandering the castle, thinking about Shiro, Keith runs into Allura. But two Red Lions together are bound to start a fire.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the infromation that Keith and Allura are going to have "strong, emotional scenes" in season 2. Not Kallura. Heavily referenced Sheith.
> 
> Title from: [Atlas - Coldplay](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1h8OBcdyUg)

_“Keith… if I don’t make it out of here… I want you to lead Voltron.”_

Keith had never felt not right in Shiro’s clothes before. His Garrison cadet uniform - _“you’ll grow into it”_ \- his favorite hoodie - _“no - it’s okay. It looks good on you”_ \- or even Shiro’s pajamas - _three months, six months, eight months. Shiro’s pajamas still smelled like him, wrapped Keith in his arms even from millions of miles away. But then with the words “pilot error” the smell faded away along with all the happiness in Keith's body. He still wore them though, those shreds of hope._

But this… the Black Paladin uniform… it belongs to Shiro and only Shiro. Keith felt like a fraud in it, like a failure. He couldn’t save Shiro. He couldn’t live up to him. Would he ever be able to save him?

Could Shiro even be saved, what with the Black Lion changing it’s allegiance to him?

No, he had to be. Keith found him once before, he would do it again.

But the black armor doesn’t feel right. The chair doesn’t feel right. The new weapon they gave him doesn’t feel right. Leading doesn’t feel right - things seem to be falling apart more than they are coming together, and it’s only been a week.

He’s slept maybe one, maybe two hours a night. Shiro was supposed to be there, and he wasn’t. He’d wander the castle at night - to the observation deck, to the hangars, but mostly he’d find himself in the training room. He’d been trying to make this new armor of his like his skin like the red armor had been.

But even as the training robot charged him, even as he reacted, it didn’t feel right - and soon enough he was flat on his back.

“End training sequence.”

He had opened his mouth to say those words, but it wasn’t him who said that. Keith sat up on his elbows and turned to see-

For a second he thought it was himself staring back at him, but no. It was Princess Allura, in his old Red Paladin armor.

The Black Lion opening for him was one thing, but when the Red Lion had knelt in front of Allura…

Things had really changed, then.

“What are you doing here?” Keith asked, getting up off the floor. His eyes drifted to his - _her_ bayard. He missed it. He missed it a lot.

Not as much as he missed Shiro tho.

_God, Shiro._

“I could ask you the same thing,” Allura said. “I was informed that humans need about eight - hours? - hours of sleep per night. You’ve been averaging two.”

Keith scoffed. “You were misinformed. I’m fine.”

Allura looked him over, and Keith felt exposed under her icy blue eyes. Her just being in his old armor felt like she was already under his skin.

“Your new weapon is one that was once used by the Altean royal guard. I can help you get the hang of it.”

Keith looked down at the weapon. It reminded him of a Naginata: a long pole with a blade on the end. He hated it, really. The balance was off, it was just -

It just wasn’t him.

Keith didn’t say anything, but Allura took that as a go ahead.

“While a sword is an extension of your arm, this is an extender of your arm.” Allura took the weapon from him and held it so that the bottom of the pole was at her shoulder. “And then you use a lot of grace. You loosen your hold just enough -” Allura took a step back and swung, the weapon sliding along her arm until she was just holding the end of it. “You ready to give it a shot?”

Keith crossed his arms. “I think I rather use something else. I rather use my _hands_ than that.”

Allura narrowed her eyes. “Well, you don’t have a robotic arm like Shiro did-”

Both of them froze at once. Allura just committed an unforgivable sin: referring to Shiro in the past tense.

Keith clenched his fists. “I’m leaving-”

“Keith-”

“ _Goodbye-_ ”

“Wait-"

“ _Wait_? You want me to wait around some more?” Keith whirled around on Allura, who actually looked taken aback by his outburst. “ _Wait_ to be ready. _Wait_ till we have more information. _Wait_ around until it’s too late and Shiro really is in the past tense. But you’ve already accepted that he is, huh? You’ve already given up on him-”

“Keith, that is _not_ what I meant-”

“You get to be a Paladin now! Is that what you wanted all along? Just angry that it’s _Red_ and not _Black_? That you don’t get to boss us around anymore?”

“I didn’t _ask_ for this-”

“I didn’t either! I didn’t ask to be the leader! I didn’t ask for Shiro to get recaptured, or captured _at all_. I’d give _anything_ to have him back, but it looks the rest of you won’t!” Keith spat on the ground. All his blood was boiling his heart pounding. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He missed Shiro, he ached for Shiro, with a pain stronger than anything he had felt before. Before, they told him we was dead; now, Keith knew it was much worse. “You’re just as bad as the Garrison was.”

He sees recognition in Allura’s eyes; they’ve filled her in on enough that she knows what that accusation means. Keith spins on his heel and takes a few steps when he hears the sound of a bayard taking shape.

Allura kicks his new weapon towards him, sliding across the floor.

_The Red Lion is temperamental and the most unstable._

And there was two of them.

Just like in his fight with Zarkon, Keith was seeing red. His body acted on pure instinct, on pure muscle memory, on pure autopilot. Both Keith and Allura were unfamiliar with the weapons they were using, but both fought hard and fought dirty. All of the anger Keith had been bottling up came pouring out with a scream.

He’s the reason they were all separated. He’s the reason Shiro was recaptured. It should have been him. He’s no leader. He can’t fill Shiro’s shoes. _Shiro_ , not again. He can’t lose Shiro again. Oh _god_ , S _hiro, Shiro, SHIRO-_

A loud _clang_ and both of their weapons go flying off. Keith and Allura freeze, bodies still shaking, humming with energy, as they pant for air.

Keith fell to the floor. He couldn’t stand anymore. It was too much, it was all too much-

He’s crying in earnest now. The last time he cried, was about a month after he was told Shiro was dead. He’d been bottling it up, still in denial - but then one day, something reminded him of Shiro. Something soft, and sweet, and for a second he had forgotten the harsh truth. When he remembered, he shattered like broken glass.

Arms wrapped around him - Allura - and all the misdirected anger at her is gone. She’s crying too, he can feel the wetness on the back of his neck. She’s rubbing his back, whispering things he can’t hear over the sounds of his sobs. He clings to her, and she to him.

“I want him back,” Keith whispered into her hair. “I just want him back.”

“I know,” Allura said softly back. “I know, we all do. And we will, okay? Together we’ll get through this.”

Keith shudders a bit. She sounded like Shiro for a second there. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”

“It’s alright,” Allura cut him off. “It’s okay. I understand.”

She pulls back, and Keith wipes his nose on his sleeve. Allura’s looking at him quizzically, and he’s never felt more exposed in his life.

“You’re going to make a great leader, Keith,” Allura said. “Shiro trusts you, he trusts you to do this. I do too… and so does everything else. It’ll just take some time to get used to all this, and like you, we really don’t want to…”

She cracked a small smile, and Keith couldn’t help but do so either.

“Do… I think I’m ready to learn now.”

Allura stood up and reached out a hand to help Keith up. “I think we both could use some sleep, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Keith agreed, but it felt hollow in his mouth.

Yet he still followed Allura out of the training room, and down the hall towards the living quarters. She hugged him before going to her room. She needed rest, that was true.

But Keith couldn’t get rest, not with Shiro gone. The bed didn’t feel the same - either of them. He’d stand in front of Shiro’s door, but he hadn’t been able to go in. And in his own bed, he just couldn’t sleep knowing Shiro was in a Galra cell somewhere, or worse.

Their bedrooms doors were closest to each other. Keith stood there, in armor that didn’t belong to him, his eyes locked on Shiro’s door.

It wasn’t the same without Shiro.

 _He_ wasn’t the same without Shiro.

Keith walked away, past his room - he couldn’t go in there either.

Every night he would be in one of three places: the observation deck, the training room, or the Black Lion’s hangar.

Only one of those places he hadn't been there yet tonight.

He’d sit on the floor, staring up at the Lion, trying to feel a connection to Shiro. He’d debate every night just taking Black and running, finding Shiro himself.

And, sadly, even after Allura’s words he’d still be considering it.

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing a week or two ago, and forgot where I was trying to go when I started it again, so. Also I didn't proofread, oops.


End file.
